As I sit here and watch our son Brendan exit the stage after his final scene in their school’s most recent performance, Anne of Green Gables, his arm gently draped around the shoulders of a girl wearing a wig of red hair, a memory surfaces….
Although it wouldn’t mean much to my kids, just another weird fact about mom, this beautiful group of stories brings back memories of my teenage self, a burgeoning young adult very uncomfortable in her own skin who found solace in the adventures of a young red head in a similar stage of life. It also didn’t hurt that this feisty, confident but magnet-for-trouble young girl named Anne shared my middle name (also spelled with an “e”).
In the story, shortly following the death of her beloved Matthew, Anne compares life’s uncertainties to a bend in the road. What I couldn’t have ever imagined at the time, just around the bend of my very own path, life would gift me with my very own amazing red head. This wonderful tiny package of spitfire and moxie topped off with a beautiful fuzzy red halo would become my world and change me in ways I could never dream of. And just like Anne, she came stock full of her own antics to keep us on our toes over her short but busy 20 year life.
This was never more true than when her brother entered the scene. After the experience of Londyn’s first year of life, full of late nights and trips to the ER, we wrestled with the idea of having another. But when Londyn was three we decided it was finally time to try and before we knew it I found myself pregnant again. When the time came to announce the news, I pictured a little girl jumping up and down with delight at the prospect of a sibling. What we got instead was a clear and resounding “No!” Imagine our shock as we fought back the desire to laugh at this tiny little force making it clear that she had not given her permission to add anyone to our happy trio. Over the weeks, as the reality of our situation became ever more evident with the growth of my belly, she slowly came around to the idea. But I would soon come to discover the battle was far from over when the day came to reveal the baby’s sex. In response to the announcement we were having a boy she made it clear that this, once again, went against her plans and very clearly expressed her desire to have a little sister.
But that opinion too would eventually change when, on a November afternoon, our beautiful 8 lb 9 oz Brendan entered the world. The memory of a little four year old Londyn tippy toe-ing into the hospital room, huge grin on her sweet little face will forever be seared on my brain as she gently placed a kiss on her baby brother’s forehead.
As I look back on our life as a team of four, Londyn and Brendan were always close. Yes they had their moments of fighting and bickering just like any siblings do, but they held a deep seeded love for each other which could often be seen in the concern one would express for the other when suddenly unaccounted for or sick. When the day came for Londyn to go to school Brendan seemed so lost without his sister by his side. But before we knew it his turn came, and determined to be like his big sister, made it clear he would walk in on his own. Surprisingly Londyn jumped at the chance to walk him in that first day and so, through teary eyes I watched my beautiful little souls head off onto their next new adventure together, backpacks on …and her arm draped around his shoulders…
In the Green Gables stories Anne has a moment where she speaks to the changes life has thrown her way. This bend in the road as she puts it is not one to be afraid of but instead, a place full of wonder. As she so eloquently states about life “when I left, my future seemed to stretch out before me like a straight road. I thought I could see along it many a milestone. There is a bend in it. I don’t know what lies around the bend, but I’m going to believe the best does. It has a fascination of its own, that bend. I wonder how the road beyond it goes-what there is of green glory and soft, checkered light and shadows-what new landscapes-what new beauties-what curves and hills and valleys further on.”
Although Brendan and Londyn’s roads, once shared, have been abruptly divided I believe his big sister is guiding him as he continues down his own path facing another bend in the road, the graduating of high school and all the uncertainties that brings. As for Londyn, I envision her in a valley of green glory checkered with light and new beauties that we will one day get to see when we join her once again. Until then, we will continue walking our own paths of life without fear, secure in the knowledge we have our own special angel watching over us along the way, and helping us face our own bends in the road.
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